Several weeks ago, my kids were bickering like nobody’s business. We have this ongoing fight with the teen girls. One of them loves to sing. The other gets annoyed by repetitive singing. On this particular day though, the teen girls were fighting about everything, including singing. The toddler was crying about EVERYTHING. The preschooler was enjoying annoying his 7 year old sister a little too much. And, EVERYONE was tattling! It seemed like a bomb had gone off in the house and I couldn’t get my kids to do anything at a normal speed. They were all dragging their feet. Something about this day was just all out wrong. I longed to restart the day or at least hurry it on up to tomorrow, but instead…. I just yelled at them.
Do you know what I said?
I feel guilty admitting this to you all… as it kind of shocked me, too.
I think it shocked them even more, as I’ve always been a gentle motherer with not too many harsh words.
I said to them, through tears… “I am SO SICK of being your mom!”
I stomped off to my bedroom so I could go cry all by myself, with nobody tattling or complaining.
I promptly texted my husband to tell him what happened and how I said something really mean to my kids and he decided to come home from work early to give the kids a bit of a talking to.
After a while of alone time, I felt like I could emerge again without exploding or crying and all kids were staring at me like I had a disease. Haha. I can laugh about it now, but at the time, I just felt bad.
I later apologized, letting them all know that I’m very glad that I’m their mom, and explained how moms sometimes get stressed and over-react, just like they do.
Have you ever had a day like that?
I often wonder, when my children grow up, how will they remember me?
Will they remember how I love being silly with them?
Will they remember our late night talks?
Will they remember me reading them great stories?
Will they remember going to the park, going camping and going on vacations?
Or… will they remember all of my bad qualities?
Will they remember how I allowed myself to get sucked into my computer and how I’m often late to start dinner?
Will they remember how my laundry and dishes were always stacked higher than any of their friends’ mom’s?
Will they remember that I forgot to do that thing they asked me to do?
Will they remember that time when I told them I was sick of being their mom?
The truth is, when I’m at the end of my life, they’re much more likely to remember me for the things I did well, than the things I didn’t do well. Does that mean they won’t remember any of the bad things? Of course not.
They will likely remember some bad things about me, but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
Can you imagine going through life thinking that everyone was perfect? Personally, I think that would be a little disheartening, knowing full well, that I cannot be perfect and that I’ll never live up to that standard.
I am comforted by the fact that I am not alone in my imperfectness.
There are other mothers who struggle to keep their houses clean and their kids fed on time. There are other mothers who have yelled when they shouldn’t have and who have forgotten things they should have remembered. There are other mothers who are overwhelmed, had a bad day and reacted wrongly, just like me.
But…instead of carrying it on, like it’s a fun little habit, we learn from those mistakes we’ve made and do our best not to make them again. We learn from them, just like we want our children to.
So…for all you overwhelmed, grumpy, feeling sorry for yourself moms out there. I want you to know something.
You are not alone!
You are doing a great job!
Tomorrow is a new day!
Love your families
There’s a Bible verse that talks about Love. It says
(LOVE) KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONG.
I Corinthians 13:5b
While, it’s talking about loving one another, I think this verse can be applied to loving ourselves as well! Stop keeping record of your own wrongs. Stop living in guilt and start loving yourself.
Forgive yourself and move on!
And in the mean time, don’t forget about this free video series put on by 2 moms who have had their share of #momfails, too.
Stephanie and Beth are not only popular bloggers, but they’re also moms in the trenches.
They understand and have the deepest compassion for moms who are working their tails off, but still hitting the pillow at night with a heavy heart and tear-stained face, because they, too have felt like they were failing at one of the most important things they’ve ever done in their lives.
And so they’ve put together an honest, candid and incredibly encouraging series of three videos just for moms. It’s called “The Truth About #MomFail Culture: 10 Things You Need to Hear on the Hard Days”. It’s free!